NO means NO

I'm just listening to Jeff Buckley and rereading old conversation on Whatsapp (exciting sunday, I know). I had this conversation a few weeks a go. Backstory: I found out I got a job and celebrated by blind booking a holiday - being not blessed with good luck I got Düsseldorf. 

What I lack in luck I make up in being sneaky I guess, I decided to go to Amsterdam via Düsseldorf.

But because I got a night flight I still need to stay for a night in Düsseldorf anyway before going en route to Amsterdam. Being broke and the trip so last minute all the hostels are booked, I don't know anyone there, and I didn't feel like spending mad money to stay at a hotel (Probably should've done it #treatyoself) --soooo Couchsurfing was my last resort.

I got 3 guys saying I could crash at their place and decided to stay with this indonesian guy. Yes, because I'm indonesian. So probably easier to bond or whatever.

Ok long story short, he lives in a one room apartment. There was a bed and a couch. He insisted that I take the bed, I refused but he insisted and I was mad tired so I decided to take the bed.

He then complained about the couch being uncomfortable- which made me uncomfortable.

Then he asked if it was okay if he could sleep next to me. Dude. No.

I said I could just take the couch so he could sleep in bed. But he said he doesn't wanna be a bad host yada yada

And he would ask me again. He in fact asked probably over 10 times if he could just sleep next to me. He also tried to touch my arms, thighs when he told me to go back to bad.

Basically I didn't sleep at all. I got my phone in my hand because I was so scared. But because he was playing the nice guy / nice host I could not confront him. 

Of course I'm not stupid, I kept thinking to leave too. But that means I need to pack my stuffs and change my clothes and I thought it was a risky move :(

I know worse could've happened. 

But it IS NOT okay that I had to put up with this. Just because I'm staying over doesn't mean I owe you anything. I said no once and that should be clear enough. No means no.

The other day, a guy I used to see texted me saying he's in Berlin these days and wonder if he could see me again.

I politely declined saying I'm seeing someone at the moment so I don't think I should see him, and wished him to have a nice time in Berlin.

He insisted that the guy I'm seeing would never know and I should meet him. He even called me 'lil kitten'.

This of course was easier. I just blocked his number and he be gone.

Just feel like sharing bits of my stories. Of course this wouldn't change anything, but if I could get you to read this and think "wow women have to put up with this shit everyday. I better be nice and not creepy" that would be really cool

Although probably you would just blame me on going to stranger's place, stating it's my own fault and perhaps I post 'inviting' selfies on my social media etc -which quintessentially victim blaming and slut shaming me but that's okay I guess. That's just part of being a woman.